The roads, trails, the track... have always been there for me.
They have always loved me, no matter what state of mind, body, and spirit I show up in on that particular day.
Yesterday the trails in the Carolina Beach State Park provided just the solace, comfort, and communication I needed. They weren't particularly swayed by my confusion over a girl...my emotions rubbed a bit raw, my innermost self whispering "let go..."
And when I thought about my Mom and a tear rolled down my cheek as I ran up thru the Swamp Trail ((everyone I know goes away in the end, I hear the guitar strumming gently, sadly, beautifully in the Nine Inch Nails version of the song Hurt)) - the trails accepted me for exactly who I was at that given moment. They do not judge, pity, uplift, counsel, advise... they are just there.
There when we need them the most.
Wednesday night I ran 2 x 1200 meters before Flyers Cross Country practice, then 6 x 800 meters with Owen and Zac... all in the low 3 minute range. Tough, controlled running. I needed an outlet, I needed to rage a little in a constructive way... and the grassy half mile course on the Ashley and Murray school grounds was there. It didn't say a word to me, and afterwards I felt better.
Out here we get what we need. We can be our flawed, human selves... and not have to explain why we feel like we do, why we want what we want, why we act the way we act sometimes. Our sweat and tears fall softly into the ground, all to reappear later in this wonderful, mysterious grand circle of life.
None of us ever have to feel like we are not loved.
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